Blogger is so over-rated!

Okay, I am going to stop blogging here and I am moving to Tumblr. It is much more better! Join and follow meeee! Seriously said, it is much more better and less depressing, trust me.
xx
p/s; but I am still keeping this account for updates. kthnxbai.

Fuck! I hate Malaysia!

As if you should probably know, I was with the guys from my grade from school to a 3 days and 2 nights vacation trip to Malacca. It was fun! (If the teachers weren't there -__-) Anyway, two events were cancelled and I don't know why. The first day, when we arrived at Dataran Pahlawan mall and the teachers gave us some time to grab lunch and buy a gift for a lucky draw that will be held later.

So me and my friends first went to a food court and ate lunch. We chatted on what are we going to do later and shit. Then, we left and searched for the presents, I bought a magnetic fish that costs me two ringgit. Earlier, the teacher said we should buy a present that costs atleast 2o ringgit, I was like WTH? WHAT A FUCKING RIP OFF! I didn't bring much money that time, so I was kind of pissed.

Then, we left the mall and stroll outside and we took some pictures. We went to the where the teachers asked us to and waited for the rest of them. I was kinda pissed because there wasn't that much people there. The teachers are acting like a fucking typical Malay.

Anyway, for an hour, we were at the bus on our way to the resort which was kinda far from the city. The house was a large bungalow with four bedrooms. I get the room with Farhani only which is kinda cool because the other rooms has 3 to 6 people. Harhar.

I went swimming with a couple of friends and we have to wear our tudungs. That sucks, LMAO.

-I'll continue later.

xx

MALAY PEOPLE & THEIR BAD ENGLISH

Okay, this is probably something very common to some of you people if you spent almost half of your life on MySpace. I am not saying that every Malay have suckish English, but for you English-geniuses out there, you get it, don't you? I am not trying to judge everyone but I am pretty sick of the people who rants about my flaws with words that I can hardly understand. I mean, you're starting a fight where your opponent doesn't understand you? I just don't get what they're trying to prove.

I am not perfect myself, but atleast my English is comprehensible. That is just it, this post will be continued since I just suffered a sudden sore throat, karma for about to post this I guess.

xx

R.I.P Miley & Hannah

Okay, this is going to be quite funny. Yesterday, I went out for dinner with my mum at Victoria Station and we both had yummy, juicy steaks after we had an-hour walk, strolling around Lake Garden. Then, I went to the Great Eastern Mall to have dessert. After that, we walked around the place and then, I bought two guppies with different-coloured tails from a petshop downstairs. I named them Miley and Hannah. I don't know why but I was just being creative. No offense, though. Anyways, it costs my mum three ringgit for each of the fishes.

So, I bought a packet of pink, white, and green pebbles and a small aquarium for it with a pink lid. I also bought a new aquarium for my turtle, Lulla, and my sister's turtle, Yroc, yes, it's a horrible name for a pet, my sister has a weird taste of things. I am quite happy because I never have fishes as pets before. I was quite ecstatic. Then, I brought it home happily.

Both of my sisters were out to their friend's house for a sleep-over and I told them about Miley and Hannah. My youngest sister doubt that the fishes would last long under my care, turns out she was right. I also decorated the aquarium with the pebbles I bought when I got them in my bedroom. Miley and Hannah seemed happy for it, but not for long.

Today, I woke-up to my dead fishes and they were upside down floating. I stared at them, they weren't moving, I ran to my mum's bedroom and told her, she laughed about it and asked me to flush them into the toilet and I spent 20 minutes figuring how. I have to flush them in the toilet bowl! It wasn't a good experience but it would be funny if I tell about it to someone.

God, I just had them for a night! I hate it because I had to dunk their guts to the bowl, it's not my favourite thing to do. I mean, it's small and you just yanked their little guts into the bowl. Quite disgusting and I have to use a long ruler to get them out, I won't touch them, never. Guess my sisters won't take a first look at the guppies after all.

O-hail Miley and Hannah! May you rest in peace in the sewer. God, bless their petite souls of innocence.

NOTE: I am never going to buy fishes as pet in my life anymore.

xx

p/s; Since the pebbles I bought is useless now, I named the pink ones-Miley, the green ones-Hannah, and the white ones...Billy! Hehe, it's a laugh!

I am not afraid to say I love you,

This post I am about to type is going to be slightly vulnerable and sensitive. I dream about this person for like 2 weeks now and I don't know his name. Maybe I even had this dream about that anonymous person because of my break-up with Stefan, I just thought so, maybe because I still love him.

Yes, I broke-up with Stefan and I have absolutely no time to tell you guys this news. The break-up is probably my fault because he is someone I really care about and when he left, I just stood there, reminiscing but not doing anything to alter fate. I am a sucker for love and forgiveness. If I am hurt, I'll probably shut up about it.

My bestfriend said maybe I missed him and I want him back. I don't really know, sometimes I do and sometimes I don't. I bought a CD of his favourite band, Good Charlotte, just to feel that he's around. Fortunately, the CD cost me RM10 because it was an old CD. Lucky me, a-ha. I heard the same song over and over again on my iPod.

Oh, not to mention, he called me yesterday and we talked a lot, but he was the one doing the talking, I was just there, being heartless as I am. Anyway, I was relieved that he doesn't have anyone else because I want him all to myself. Yes, love is greedy. Well, at least I have something to blame to.

By his voice, he sounded concern. We talked for an hour and I kept wishing he would not hang up but I was the one ended up asleep when he's still there. I still laughed about it. I wish he would still drop-by to see if I was okay. I just miss him, that's all.

Stefan, if you read this, I just want you to know that you mean a lot to me.

xx

Bitch, get a friend.

Hi. Okay, so if you know me in real life, you'll probably know who this bitch is. Although I am not going to say any names, you would still get a hint. Anyway, to be generally true, I know this person and she used to be my friend. When I am friends with her, she would totally treat me like shit and makes me want to slit her throat everytime. As you should know, I am the type of person who has no patience. I like everything to go fast and as the way I wanted. Call me a bitch, I don't give a shit.

Well, it has been weeks now since we haven't talk like the way we used to. I am glad that I am in the position and the condition I am in now, because I am completely exasperated by her ways of treating me. I don't think I, nor anyone deserves it. So, like, everytime she comes to school, I would see her and I would totally get annoyed. Not to mention that I sit near to her in the exam hall. I hate it how our names have the same initials.

Anyway, I and some of my friends realised that she is irrationally itching to talk to me! I mean, I tried to ignore her all the time, but sometimes my brain gets a little obstinate towards my orders and it couldn't fuction as well as I planned. So, it's like she is itching to get something out of her fucken head to produce words to talk to me about. I mean, what the hell?! You treat me like shit and now you want to talk to me, I just don't get it.

Btw, she said hi to me last week, I pretended I didn't hear her. Call me mean, whatever.

xx

My birthday and PMR doesn't go together that well,

Okay, so I haven't update my shits like almost 2 or 3 weeks max? Anyway, I got an iPod Touch for my birthday and of course, I love it like, more than ever. I was planning to buy rhinestones stickers since it had some scratches here and there at the back of it. iPod Touch is like soooooooooo cool, only it would be cooler if the songs from iTunes are free. I mean, songs, they're just songs, music, come on! Why can't we get it for free?! But then, I just realised that life is materialistic.

The sad thing is, PMR. Yeah, it was. I had my Bahasa Melayu and Pendidikan Islam paper today, and let me tell you, PAI was kinda eaaaaaaaaaaaaaasy! Woo-hoo! At least, give me a B or an A, perhaps? Pretty please, with a cherry on top? But BM was kinda depressing and I didn't had much time for it :( In the novel part, I fucked up, badly. And I kinda promised my teacher I would get an A for it? Sorry?

Anyway, tomorrow's English, I'm just hoping it would be an easy one, not the type of questions which will make me regret for never searching that particular word in the dictonary. Oh, tomorrow's Science! I'll just hope that everything I learnt this year and the previous years paid off!

xx

Suddenly, I am falling in love with Indonesia...

This is going to be a short post because I am worn out and fucked-up exhausted. Okay, yeah. Haha on me. Anyway, eventhough the doughnut incident happened and the security guards, this shit made my day. After I watched a movie in Plaza Indonesia, I went outside with my family and went searching for food, by walking, I know, my dad said I need some exercise. (Not cool, pa)

Anyway, yeah we walked and found this restaurant which sells some killer fried rice. I don't know why I just said that but it was nice. We had some chats with family stuff since we are leaving Indonesia the next day, although I promised myself that i would live here! I don't even know why but I wanted to go to a school here so much!

To get to the whole point, after we ate at the yummy restaurant, I went outside and abruptly raised my hand for a taxi. I was just stepping outside the door and randomly raised my hand up and said 'I want a taxi!', loudly. Then, I laughed to myself and walked nearer to the roadside to get a cab. On my way to the roadside, I was walking, then this dude in a cab was like watching me from a distance, I could feel it eventhough I was not watching. I turned my head to him and he was looking straight at me.

I had no idea why! So I was like pointing to the front. He was beckoning that he would wait by driving nearer to me. He drove towards me and stopped. I was taken aback because I really didn't thought that someone would saw me raising up my hand for a cab. I was just randomly asking for one, not that I am ready to call one outside of the restaurant. Which doesn't really made sense because the highway was kinda far from the restaurant, so, I thought that it wouldn't be possible for anyone to see me asking for a cab because small trees are separating the highway and the road in front of the restaurant I had my dinner at.

So, anyway, I just got in and he sent me and my family back home to the apartment. That's all about it, what I am trying to say is, Indonesians are really particular in finding money and food for their family. All I can say is, I am impressed by how hard-working Indonesians work! I wish my country would do the same thing, too.

xx

I left my doughnuts in the cab :(

I was wrong after all! My day was bad! Yeah, I left my doughnuts in the cab I was riding on to Plaza Indonesia. It costed me 10,000 rupiah, it's like 7 ringgit here or something. I almost cried honestly. Boo-hoo. Maybe it was the cab driver's day that I left it or maybe it was just plain bitch karma. I'm sorry! :(((((((((((((((((((((

The whole point of me going to Plaza Indonesia was to watch The Grudge 3. I thought it would be totally cool if I ate them in the movie, so I won't have to eat crap from the cinema concession. They have nachos, btw. It was yummy, the cheese was melted and god, you can't even explain the feeling :)

Anyway, I bought chicken nuggets which was not worth it, I can't remember the price but it was totally not worth it. By the way, Indonesia is sooooooo cool because they don't have rates for the movies. So anyone could watch any movies, with no age limits! Wow! I know, right? And I finally got to watch Final Destination 4! Which, I admit, was kinda scary, lmao. The deaths was veryyyyy terrifying.

Okay, so when I reached the 6th floor, heading to the cinema, I stopped walking and thought of something. Shit! I left my doughnuts! Then I went to my sister and said that and maybe thought that I could get it back, but sadly, I can't do that, although I did wanted to try, maybe it was the dude's day making me forgot my doughnuts :(

Anyway, I watched The Grudge 3, it was worth it but like it said, the curse would never have an end. So, the ghosts will be on and on to the next billion. Terrifying. I am trying not to remember the ghosts though, but whatever anyway.

More updates soooon,

xx

Indonesia is on my last nerve,

Okay, so I'm going to tell you how irritated, annoyed I am to this country. I don't mean any offense or such offending shits. I'm just saying that it sometimes annoy me. Well, the people here is. Anyway, if you people haven't went to Jakarta, let me tell you something for your information. The people here are paranoid somehow. I asked my dad about that and he said that there's always people that tried or tries, still, to bomb the whole place.

For instance, I went to Plaza Indonesia, it looks much more like Pavilion in Kuala Lumpur by the way, and the security guards here are on my last nerve. They are so paranoid that they have to check every cars that enters to the shopping mall. In addition, they even have metal detectors in every of their entrances to the building!

I have never been so mad to a country before! So yeah, that's probably it, I took a cab here and it didn't cost me that much, so yeah, my days weren't that bad after all, huh?

More updates later,

xx

What surrouds my apartment,

I am very, utterly dissapointed seeing the environment of Jakarta. There are many hotels and luxurious, sky scrapers all around this city, yet, there's no one to help the needy of Jakarta. I can't help this kind of people because I won't able to. I don't get it why so many rich people won't help these people. These pictures are for you bloggers to see that we should appreciate what we have and stop wanting things that don't matter. Travel and look around you. Help them until you're not able to. Help those who need help.

Start thinking about the people who deserves to live like we deserve to. Think thoroughly and deeply, people. Because in their heart, they need you.

I'll update more about the current world economy,

xx

Coolest swimming pool ever, eh, not really -_-"

Okay, so this is the pictures of the swimming pool I promised to put in here. So yeah, and I had fun taking these pictures. This pool is awesome btw. Like yeah, it is. But sadly, I have to go home when the time comes :(

more pictures later,

xx

How my apartment in Jakarta looks like,

This is pretty much all of it I guess. Unless if you want a detailed picture, get it yourself, god sake. I admit that I love this apartment more than my own house. Maybe I'll let my dad to stay here permanently or something. So we could go to school here and settle down with our lives. This apartment is uber cool. Maybe I'll take pictures of the swimming pool tomorrow!

I'll keep updating!

xx

Actually,

It is very weird every minute I breathe in Jakarta here. I think I'm going outside tomorrow, to see the sun perhaps, I've been staying in the hotel for the whole day of today. I miss Stefan, so badly :( I wish I could tell you that, baby. I can't call you because I don't know how, I'm not stupid but I am just not bothered to.

The weather here is hot and sunny and the people are very nice and pleasant looking. I don't want to go back home to Malaysia. I want to stay here for the rest of my life. The people here is much more friendlier. Stefan didn't go on yet :( Maybe he even hasn't woke up yet. Garh.

I only missed him and my friends of course. But I wish I could meet Asti, my Indonesian friend here, I guess why not. Uh-I am actually bored and have nothing to say. My dad is out again with her girlfriend.

More updates later,

xx

Love me for me

Everyone deserves love and compassion. Love is complex and it could be expressed by countless of words. I have mine and he means everything. He is not just my lover, he's my everything. He's love. I don't know if he loves me entirely but I love him a lot, more than he, himself , expected.

He is all I think of. I am sure he'll be there for me. If only I could tell him how I feel, I am sure he'll be taken aback than ever. I believe him and I am sure I can always be there, just for him.

Eventhough we only knew each other for a month know, I want him to know I am all his. I miss him so much since I am in Jakarta :(

I'll type more,

xx

Jakarta updates! II

This part is the entire part, the first update was a quick brief.

Anyway, after the plane landed, I was very happy because I can take pictures again. I was going to capture everything, every moment. Then, papa wants to break his fast. For your information, Jakarta is one hour earlier than us. He headed to this weird restaurant which was placed outside the airport and I ate friend rice which turned out to be really well-cooked and I was taken aback, lmao.

When we were waiting for our order, papa was smoking. His smoking puff was all over my face. I scolded him. Then, he said those despicable words. Here's the coversation;

papa; I have someone to take care of you guys. Like a nanny.

sophia; what?!

me; what?!

salma; huh?(she was still blurred out or some sort)

me; what do you mean, nanny?

[That time, my mind was talking to me, yes, it talks to me, I don't care if it scares you, papa never think we need someone to watch over our asses]

papa; like you know, someone to take care of you when I am working.

[yeah, we were here because my dad is having office business to take care of, for us, it's the first vacation in 14 months!]

me; where would she stay? I mean, the rooms are fully booked, I mean, in the apartment, where would she be sleeping and all that?

sophia; do you even know her?!

papa; I don't know her, she could take the small room or something, I don't know, we could negotiate something out, right guys?

sophia; but I want a room for me only and you don't even know her, how could we identify which is she, *she was making a face this time, lmao.

papa; she'll come here, she knows me, we'll talk about it later, I'm going to pray.

[then, he buzzes off]

THE CONVERSATION WASN'T ACTUALLY LIKE THIS, BUT THIS IS THE VITAL PART.

After he was out of our sight, we began to have our sister discussion(we have this things, lmao) and talked about it. Here's the conversation;

me; I am pretty sure it is Mairian(yes, that's her name and we know that).

sophia; I don't know, maybe.

me; he is acting all weird, he never thinks that we need someone to take care of us and he knows that, let's just see.

salma; can I go to the toilet?

me; uh-yeah?(as I look at her)

salma; can you go with me?

me; why me?!

salma; because I told you so?

THE CONVERSATION WASN'T ACTUALLLY LIKE THIS, LMAO.

So, I still went to the toilet with Salma. It turns out that I wanted to pee, too. After that, we rushed back to the restaurant and we saw Sophia sitting alone. She said, ''I saw her! Do you remember how she looks like?", I replied, "Yeah, I guess but maybe she changed her hair and everything",(I know how she looks like)

The moment I saw her, everything from what I've known came back rushing to my brain. I was suspicious of course. I am 60% sure she was dating my dad under the radar. I never met this woman, after we were at the airport, papa rent us a private taxi and before that, we met her. Papa was sensing nothing while I beckon to my sisters. My dad said her name is May, I don't give a rat's ass about her actual spelling of her name and this is obviously leads to her actual name, Mairian, let me tell you her full name, lol. It is so funny, like humor. It is Mairian Lastika Winda Yuni.

Funny, right? Gahaha. Papa asked us to shake her hands but she signed that she doesn't want to though. So, I just ignored. I didn't want her to anyway. So yeah, she was being extra nice to us, to my sister, I seem to have a problem with her.

In the taxi, I was sitting beside the driver's seat and my dad was sitting next to Mairian. OhMyGod, my dad is an old pervert. Anyhow, he was talking in Indonesian and he sounded like an amateur. How I hate his Indo accent. They were like, constantly whispering to each other and talked about their happy moments back in Malaysia.

As you can see, my dad travelled to Jakarta a hell lot for work and I am pretty sure Mairian was there beside him all along. In the taxi, my dad was like 'how old are you?' pffft, he thinks we're that stupid, huh? (that bitch has a son btw and my dad is paying for her) as she replied '15'. That's repulsive, god, she thinks we're gullible, too, huh?

When we reached there, we headed to the rooms and looked around the apartment, it is a beautiful apartment, I'll take the pics later. Then again, she was being nice. Before that, in the taxi, I was whining like, 'I can't text anyone with the M'sian number, buy me a number, pa!'

So, I was sitting in my room, which I am sharing with my sister, as I was enjoying the TV. She was like giving me this Indo sim card. Woo-hoo! A new number, she is nice, lmao. And she registered the sim card for me and all that.

So, anyway, she sensed that I didn't like her, damn right, I don't. After that, I went outside to the living room, texting my friend with my new Indo number and Mairian came to us and called our dad 'bi', yeah, his nickname was 'abi', I know that since I always stalk my dad's phone.

Anyway, more updates later! I can assure you, this is going to be the vacation I will never forget,

xx

Jakarta updates!

okay, I just reached Jakarta, ate fried rice at the airport, and my dad assigned a nanny to watch over our asses, which I think is his mistress, more updates later!

xx

Attention, Attention Seekers!

Funny title there, for me, though. I don't care if you don't think it is. Well, I don't, okay, for you attention seekers. I met sooooo many of this species of people. I know, they annoy the fuck out of me. It's okay when you're trying to seek attention by intelligence or a change of style, perhaps. But the desperate ones are both funny and pathetic.

The people I wanted to talk about is some random people, although they are very stupid and idiotic. Anyway, let me tell you why I think they are so desperate for attention, they clearly have NO friends to give attention to. There's one example I wanted to talk about, although names are not going to be spoken out loud to the Internet.

There's a girl, lets call her 'Bubba', haha. Bubba, hmm, so anyway, Bubba is a rich girl, wealthy, gets everything she wants and all that, Bubba's mum hates my bestfriend, I still blame Bubba's mum, so she attracts attention by giving huge amount of money to random people, like she's in my grade right, and she would give money to the people who hate her and she is not aware of that, of course.

So, I don't really get the point because I am surely sure that the person Bubba lend the money to will not pay her back, I am so, utterly sure. I don't really get her and I think she thinks that I like her. She tells me all about her problems and crap that I barely give a rat's ass about. I feel sorry for her, yes but I can't really help her because I loathe her.

I do, I am not fake, I'm just not ignorable. I mean, if I'm running from her, she would totally chase me. God, all those running for nothing. Okay, that's it about Bubba, she seeks attention through money.

Next attention seekerrrrr!

My classmate, hmm, let's call her uh-Spastic! Because she is in everyway. Anyway, okay, she is much more worst and fucking annoying. She is my friend of 7 years, and I don't think I would admit to the public that she is. I think you know who she is, don't you? Zip that bloody mouth! HAHA, lol. (This just made you smile, I know it)

Anyway, she is very unique, she dated a well-known gold digger of mine. Oh Adzfar, I fucking want to stab you. Shit, no names for display, oops, sorry I'm still going to state that guy's name. HAHA, I am loony. Okay, she is much more different from Bubba.

I like Bubba better and that doesn't mean I really like her, what I'm trying to say was, I much more prefer Bubba than Spastic. So, at first she dated the gold digger, which was stupid. That guy just wants sex. You don't need the history of me and him. Spactic knows well about it.

Hm, okay, back to the seeking attention part where I was planning on blog about it.

She would sometimes give money, too. But that's a whole different story. 2 years ago, she was okay, she has this good way of interacting with people. Because she was friends with me and my bestfriends. So, the next year, she dropped a grade and we were separated. This year, I dropped a grade and I'm in her class, sadly :(

I'm still mourning about it, yes, I make it sound like death.

So, she was acting a bit different and annoying as well, she would scream alot and I, deep inside wanted to kill her, right there and then. She is fucking annoying and bitchy, Spastic deserves a slap doesn't she. She doesn't have any friends, real friends that really like her and love her. I don't, don't think I do!

She had this friend, a year older, used to be her god-sister and she dated Spastic's crush. Awwwwwh, good one! I don't fucking care actually. I pity Spastic, a lot baby! HAHA, you shouldn't date that gold digger baby, because before you did, I told you about him and everything, but you just don't listen to people, don't you?

You'll die alone and cry at the end anyway(I told you so! HAHA), anyway, GOOD LUCK with that! I don't really love you, for that matter.

xx

Shit! I still haven't..

pack my bags for Jakarta yet, the flight is on the evening, 4 pm I guess. Well, uh-something like that. I am friggin' looking forward to this vacation. Although I have to bring some books with me since I am having PMR the next week after.

I am going to bring my reference books and my stationery and fucks. Uhh-I crap so much, aren't I? I believe somehow, cursing and swearing are expressive. Uh-okay? That was really random, popped out of the head instant beliefs of mine, lmao.

Anyway, this is not entirely about my vacation to Jakarta and my gay moments, lol. I seriously don't have anything to talk about right now, I am out of ideas. Oh yeah, let's talk about life, my life, that would be, uh-whatever.

Sooo, shit, I still have no idea. but oh, I can promote someone that had inspired me through all his videos.

Go to YouTube and type in 'Mitchell Davis' in the search box and smartly, click the search link button. Then, there's going to be this thousands of videos, random videos which are not entirely the real guy, so go to the 'LiveLaveLive' channel, it will appear there, the link I mean, click on it and you can see it. So, just check his video out, he's such a randomer. The above picture is him, he's a photographer, too. The pictures behind him are polaroids, pretty ones, too.

I think I'm in love, lol.

xx

I've done drugs...

and I am clearly sure it is 100% against my sacred religion although, I don't know if I must repent but I am not addicted. I've smoked weed a couple of times. I choked on the first one, ahh-memories. I don't really like it but I can see why people are addicted. I felt stupid, of course, for damaging my body. Drugs could lead me everywhere on earth but I'm pretty sure I do not want to go to that places.

When I first experiment it, I was at my boyfriend's house, Stefan. No, he is not the reason why I did drugs, I just wanted some tormented experience. At that time, I just wanted to have some fun and my dad knew about this. He doesn't know what's with my life anymore, he clearly, utterly, doesn't get me at all.

When I smoked pot, I choked like I typed in before. I gave it a second shot, I was really high. I was just interested in drugs, but I am NOT addicted, but it did taste great and I don't think I am going to do it again.

My boyfriend did not like it when I asked for more. So I'm like, "You can do it, why can't I?" He had to listen to me anyway, oh, I get it, that's why he doesn't want to tell me about his private life, I guess, he's sulking, poor my baby boy :( I'm going to tell him later and coax him or something.

So anyway, that is it, if you're from school, don't widen your mouth and be shocked and look down at me. I tried a couple of times doesn't make me a bad person and I changed, utterly no, and I mean it, seriously.

xx

p/s; not everything I write here is true, lmao.

What you people don't know,

people seem to judge me but they clearly do not know me at all. My life is not all about fucked-up shits like that. I am tired of it because I am not going to waste my precious life for people who won't fucking appreciate me. I am sick of being nice to people who would not be nice with me or take me for fucking granted.

In this country, I have not seen everything yet. Although I do not think I have to either. Life is challenging I guess but I don't think, at first, people are the main problems of one's life.

I'll complete this later,

xx

If only people knew,

I live in a life where nothing makes sense. I just don't get the people around me. The closest, my dad. A couple of days ago, he threatened to leave my sisters and I, just like my mum did a couple of months ago. Don't you judge that I am devastated about it, I really don't. I prefer her absence around the house.

Anyway, along side him, my boyfriend, Stefan. Yeah, I broke up with Alex. About Stefan, he would not tell me about his private life, although I told him mine and it is clear that I want him to know that I care for him, that's why I asked him, but he insist on not telling me. It could not be that bad, but if it was, what's wrong by telling me that and spill the fucking beans?

I just do not get everything right now, my mind is getting hijacked by those crappy random stuff that happen in my life and kept inserting to my brains and unfortunately I can't dissolve.

Life kept on going and I am heading Jakarta, Indonesia tomorrow which I am really looking forward to. So I will be telling you guys about that later.

xx

Vegetarians

okay, someone has sent me a message through MySpace, about my vegetarian video. it almost sounded like the person was offended but she said she wasn't, but if she was not, why did she sent it, am i right? so anyway, im making this clear, she asked me to apologize, or was it something like it, but anyway, this is not an apologizing blog but im clearing to those who were offended and i really am sick about the whole people being offended crap.

obviously, in that video, i stated that the video was for e! entertainment channel. because i was so pissed, i guess im jotting this clear. they said that people should more prefer being vegetarians and so on. right now, i dont want to talk about it, only to clear things up to the people who take me seriously.

god, only if i could really tell you this, but i dont think i would be able to. but i am TRYTING to say that I wasnt trying to offend anyone fer that matter.

xx

I always loved..

being random! i mean, its like my middle name because if you know me, i am absurdly random because i kept thinking of stuff that i shouldnt be thinking. like, when im in class, learning about some subject, my head would be wandering off some place much better. like what would i do when i got home or something like that.

tomorrow's raya and i am up at 1 in the morning, bored. i actually cant sleep and thats why im posting this bs. i am utterly bored to death and sometimes i think blogging is mundane and uninteresting.

so anyway, im heading jakarta this monday and im all psyched! this is my first overseas vacasion in a year and some months. and im totally going to hit you guys with some pictures. although that is not a promise.

xx

Snails are hermaphrodites.

That was what I processed from making Science revisions after dinner. Funny though. Anyway, it has been ages since Ive been on this website since ive found out that blogging sucks and btw, im getting an iphone soon! wowieeee. thats just it, its 2 am and im bored to death.
xx

Alma tweet-ing at my face in class.

Okay, this is so stupid. I was in class, I can't remember what subject it was. Anyway, Alma is sitting in front of me in class and I was like laughing with Naimi at the back. Anyway, she was looking at me with that face and I was like 'what are you looking at?' and she's like making this innocent face and tweet-ed! She TWEET-ED at my face! What the hell was that?! I was laughing about it all day! Haha. Felt like ROFL the whole day. Haha! Oh btw, the subject was Geography.

I will ROFL and LMAO at the same time!

Okay, so this is what happened, we were having this beauty contest in school. And me and a couple of friends are suppose to manage the stage and the decorations and stuff. So, as usual, I will make a joke about everything and said to Naimi that what will happened if I join the beauty contest and emberassed myself by ROFL on the red carpet when it's my turn, that must be funny. Naimi was like 'let's make a video and you will ROFL and LMAO at the same time! That would be awesoooome!' and we laughed about it and cant believe ourselves.

How me and Naimi rocked it last Wednesday.

Well, nothing good happened but me and Naimi was some awesome DJs that day. Our school was having this Miss Personality Muslimah contest. It's like a beauty pageant. And I got picked to do the music section. But the teacher doesn't seem to like the songs I played, who cares about what the teachers think, eh? The students like it and that matters most anyway.

I wish I was Jesus.

The trip is pathetic and I can't see the motive of doing it as well. I regret.

My school was having a trip today to the BORING National Archive and the BORING-er Parliament. So, I was looking forward to it because we are not gonna be studying, who wouldn't appreciate the teacher for that, eh? Anyway, the archive was nothing, but it was pure boredom! they showed us this videos about Malaysia and stuff, it was fucken bored. Sal slept, no offense LOL. Then, we head to this gallery where there are tonnes of like posters where they have the pictures of Prime Ministers of Malaysia and stuff on them and as usual, to make myself live longer, I made a joke that the picture of the Prime Minister is totally checking me out because his eyes were right at me, so everyone laughed about it. The breakfast sucked. Okay, to get my point about this whole jesus thing for this post's title, when we reached the Parliament, we are ordered to get straight in line and wait for something. So, there's this dude making a speech and all, my mind wander off some place else, and they even act like they're the airport or something when they have the metal detector and the bag scanning thing. They don't even allowed us to bring our phones in, sick or what? So anyway, we are going to watch ministers debating and stuff, so we are placed in this hall. The seats are limited, so, when it was time to get in, me and Naimi was about to get in the seats and it was full. So some bitchy worker asked us to go wait in the waiting room. It was bored to death! I swear! So, me and Naimi sat together in some seats where it's like in the movies or something. Like the seat flips when there's no one sitting on it, anyway, I was sitting beside me and as always, I randomly said that being Jesus must be so cool, having people say your name everytime, you may think I'm being offensive but I'm just being random as always and I even said to Naimi that owning a baseball bat without knowing how to baseball is so cool. HAHA. Oh and btw, the way ministers laugh is so different than normal people do because when they laugh, they don't let their voices out, they tapped the table repeatedly instead so it would be more funnier. They make this political jokes where normal people won't understand. And we also have to bow when we are about to leave the hall where they're doing the debating. But the minister ignored, so I can't see the point of doing it. I was feeling like ROFL all the time.

Okay, so my boyfriend IS crazy.

I have the cutest boyfriend ever. Why should I ask for more? He's more than enough. I love you, Alex. I want to keep you forever. Eventhough we fight a lot, I still want you in many reasons. I hurt you so much, but I love you, that counts. You matter the most, you make me happier than ever, I would only spend my life with you. I know how nuts you are sometimes and how random you could get, I understand you and your needs. I will always be with you.

My shrink made me bipolar.

So here goes, this is fact, I know it's random, but it's true. I am bipolar. I have bipolar disorder. Maybe it sounds weird but I am. I've been to therapy and stuff, but I still believe I'm not one. I am having an appointment today but I think I'll bail. I don't see what's wrong with me but I slit my arms, I agree it is stupid and not worth doing, but trust me, I like doing it. The pain pleasures me, shit, I do sound weird, this is hard to believe but whatever. I can't hide facts. I f you don't know what bipolar means, look it up. My ex suggests if I should go to a shrink. Oh, you dont know how much I hate that shrink. I think he's the only one who thinks I am bipolar. Gaaaah, Malaysians. Sometimes, I wish I'm not one of them.

I lost concious on driving and shisha.

Last nigt was fun! I drove myself to Pavilion with my dad's BMW. I was suppose to buy myself something for breakfast, after that I was bored and I decide to go to hang around Pavilion. On my way there, Amar called, he asked me if I want to join him shisha with a couple of friends. I agreed so I met him there. It was kinda awkward because I was the only girl there, but we get along. I almost drank alcohol too! That was not good. I was lucky I didn't get caught driving without a licence. There's some guy staring at me across the restaurant, he kept winking up my face, Amar noticed that too. Naimi was texting me about how stalker-ish people are in school. It was Yasser from 4K. Haha. You're funny, Yasser. He sent the text at her dad instead of her. I think he digs her father. LOL. I almost ROFL. I went home at 3 in the morning, I slept at 5. Luckily, my dad didn't notice.

I was dancing and I knocked down a kid.

This happened on Thursday. It was so hilarious! Okay, so I was buying a drink at the canteen with my sister, after I bought one, I was about to leave, so this is what happened, I was dancing, with Salma beside me, and I was doing this butt dancing, I shaked my butt, I didn't notice there was someone beside me, because the kid was so small and short, I think she's like 4 or something, so I butt her, and she fell, I noticed I pushed something, so I looked on the floor, and there was a girl, holding a bottle of water and at that time she wasn't crying, and when I said sorry, she was crying in a sudden, I think she wants me to feel guilty, so she fake-cried, BITCHY, eh? And I was looking around, I was so scared if her dad's there, so I was like "Salma! Run!" So my sister and me ran without looking back, to get our asses out of the canteen, I went to Farhani and I told her about what happened, and she was like "They just want to make you feel guilty, you should've ignored anyway" and I turned back to the canteen, and I saw that girl with her dad, and she was not crying, instead, she was drinking her drink, joyfully. I hate her.

LOL on me in civic's class, eh?

I was suppose to type this on Thursday, but my dad was home and I was not suppose to be online, and he wants to kick me in the ass. He has a bad temper. Anyway, Okay, so everybody was laughing at my face in class earlier. So here's the story, there was civic's class, last period, so the teacher went in, as usual. He sat, and we read our prayers and such, so, he took out this folder, for our test papers. That time, I didn't had my exams yet because I was absent on the day of the test. So, with a shameless face, I went to him and said 'I haven't took it yet' and he went 'Whaat? When I want to discuss about it, now you tell me you haven't did it yet?!'. I did this weird face on him and he goes, 'Okay then, take this paper and finish it downstairs on my table'. So I did, I went downstairs, and I saw Fara Athikah and Zulaikha, Fara said hye, I replied and continued my walk. I reached the teacher's room and saw Tr. Marziyana and asked her where is his seat. She showed his seat and I went to it, to cut to the chase, after I finished my exams, I left the paper on his desk, and went upstairs, I open the door of my class and the teacher was laughing at me because I finished it in a nick of time. He has this horrid laugh, you don't want to listen. No offense, but it's kinda rude and all. So, I did what I do best, IGNORE. So, yeah that's kinda it, now you know how rude MALAYS are, eh?

Everybody kept saying the same things.

So the thing people kept saying about me is I have good English. Yes, I don't know if it is, but whatever. Okay, let's get this clear, I don't have good English, my English is OKAY, maybe I have done some reading but thank god, I love myself but I won't get conceited. I'm good at English, maybe because I am lucky, it is MAYBE because I am not creative, art-wise. I can't draw that well. But I got an A on my art test! I am just plain lucky I guess, but I'm still not good at it. I have a low self-esteem. I felt like shit all the time, I swear. You maybe feel that I am arrogant but maybe I'm just un-friendly. I don't talk to strangers that much, so keep a safe distance from me or I'll end up dislike-ing you. SORRY, I suck at making friends. And I'm keeping it that way.

Naimi said I am a 'rempit magnet'.

Okay, what I want to tell you is very very idiotic. Recently, me and Naimi, she's a friend also a classmate, is talking about random people in random places, talking to me. Almost all of them are freaking rempits, and for you people who has no idea what that is, it is a category of human beings in malaysia, where this rempits is divided into two sections, well, for my version, LOL. Anyway, this rempits is where they have illegal motorcycle racings. And the other one is where you look like one but you don't race. What makes it worst is, the type of people who kept talking to me is the real racing rempits. Call me unlucky, yes I am. This kind of people kept raising their eyebrow up my face or waving or asking for my number, or they do this funny gesture, where they say 'EH!' and bobbed their heads like a bird up the air. You won't understand probably, but if you have then same experience, you will! I hate myself sometimes. And I always feel like putting a paper bag and shove it in my head. This is pretty random, but I think it might sounds fun to read.

My random life.

I had a couple of blogs before this. And it didn't turned out that well. Now, I'm creating a new one because at this moment, I was freaking bored and I had nothing to do as well. There was SOEP test today, and SOEP means Setiabudi Oral English Programme, yes I know, it sounds weird. Anyway, it was so intense! I mean it! This programme is done in a two way communication, and by what I mean is, the teacher will give out a picture, and she would ask questions and I should do the answering. I was pretty pissed off as well because I got the hard ones, I don't know why! I was asking her if I could re-take the test and I want to choose what questions and she goes 'every question is the same, Sara. And no, you can't re-take it. I have your marks here' and I go 'Can I do anything to get higher? Oh Oh-what about I'll make you a five page essay?!' and she replied, 'No, you can't do anything about it, Sara'. I was so pissed off, I didn't do it too well, like before every answer I'm telling her, I would go 'uhhhhh' or 'huh? what kind of question is that?' or 'do you want it in detail?' or 'can you repeat the question again?' and she was making this annoyed face, and I just kept smiling. It was funny. And the jerks in my class (which is the boys), kept surrounding my seat, and making me feel nervous as well. The questions were stupid and making me nervous. If I fail on that freaking test, Oh-yeah, I'll blame you, dickheads. And I'm targetting 90 percent and higher, I'll cry if I don't and I'll end up blaming other people. HEHE.