Suddenly, I am falling in love with Indonesia...

This is going to be a short post because I am worn out and fucked-up exhausted. Okay, yeah. Haha on me. Anyway, eventhough the doughnut incident happened and the security guards, this shit made my day. After I watched a movie in Plaza Indonesia, I went outside with my family and went searching for food, by walking, I know, my dad said I need some exercise. (Not cool, pa)

Anyway, yeah we walked and found this restaurant which sells some killer fried rice. I don't know why I just said that but it was nice. We had some chats with family stuff since we are leaving Indonesia the next day, although I promised myself that i would live here! I don't even know why but I wanted to go to a school here so much!

To get to the whole point, after we ate at the yummy restaurant, I went outside and abruptly raised my hand for a taxi. I was just stepping outside the door and randomly raised my hand up and said 'I want a taxi!', loudly. Then, I laughed to myself and walked nearer to the roadside to get a cab. On my way to the roadside, I was walking, then this dude in a cab was like watching me from a distance, I could feel it eventhough I was not watching. I turned my head to him and he was looking straight at me.

I had no idea why! So I was like pointing to the front. He was beckoning that he would wait by driving nearer to me. He drove towards me and stopped. I was taken aback because I really didn't thought that someone would saw me raising up my hand for a cab. I was just randomly asking for one, not that I am ready to call one outside of the restaurant. Which doesn't really made sense because the highway was kinda far from the restaurant, so, I thought that it wouldn't be possible for anyone to see me asking for a cab because small trees are separating the highway and the road in front of the restaurant I had my dinner at.

So, anyway, I just got in and he sent me and my family back home to the apartment. That's all about it, what I am trying to say is, Indonesians are really particular in finding money and food for their family. All I can say is, I am impressed by how hard-working Indonesians work! I wish my country would do the same thing, too.

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I left my doughnuts in the cab :(

I was wrong after all! My day was bad! Yeah, I left my doughnuts in the cab I was riding on to Plaza Indonesia. It costed me 10,000 rupiah, it's like 7 ringgit here or something. I almost cried honestly. Boo-hoo. Maybe it was the cab driver's day that I left it or maybe it was just plain bitch karma. I'm sorry! :(((((((((((((((((((((

The whole point of me going to Plaza Indonesia was to watch The Grudge 3. I thought it would be totally cool if I ate them in the movie, so I won't have to eat crap from the cinema concession. They have nachos, btw. It was yummy, the cheese was melted and god, you can't even explain the feeling :)

Anyway, I bought chicken nuggets which was not worth it, I can't remember the price but it was totally not worth it. By the way, Indonesia is sooooooo cool because they don't have rates for the movies. So anyone could watch any movies, with no age limits! Wow! I know, right? And I finally got to watch Final Destination 4! Which, I admit, was kinda scary, lmao. The deaths was veryyyyy terrifying.

Okay, so when I reached the 6th floor, heading to the cinema, I stopped walking and thought of something. Shit! I left my doughnuts! Then I went to my sister and said that and maybe thought that I could get it back, but sadly, I can't do that, although I did wanted to try, maybe it was the dude's day making me forgot my doughnuts :(

Anyway, I watched The Grudge 3, it was worth it but like it said, the curse would never have an end. So, the ghosts will be on and on to the next billion. Terrifying. I am trying not to remember the ghosts though, but whatever anyway.

More updates soooon,

xx

Indonesia is on my last nerve,

Okay, so I'm going to tell you how irritated, annoyed I am to this country. I don't mean any offense or such offending shits. I'm just saying that it sometimes annoy me. Well, the people here is. Anyway, if you people haven't went to Jakarta, let me tell you something for your information. The people here are paranoid somehow. I asked my dad about that and he said that there's always people that tried or tries, still, to bomb the whole place.

For instance, I went to Plaza Indonesia, it looks much more like Pavilion in Kuala Lumpur by the way, and the security guards here are on my last nerve. They are so paranoid that they have to check every cars that enters to the shopping mall. In addition, they even have metal detectors in every of their entrances to the building!

I have never been so mad to a country before! So yeah, that's probably it, I took a cab here and it didn't cost me that much, so yeah, my days weren't that bad after all, huh?

More updates later,

xx

What surrouds my apartment,

I am very, utterly dissapointed seeing the environment of Jakarta. There are many hotels and luxurious, sky scrapers all around this city, yet, there's no one to help the needy of Jakarta. I can't help this kind of people because I won't able to. I don't get it why so many rich people won't help these people. These pictures are for you bloggers to see that we should appreciate what we have and stop wanting things that don't matter. Travel and look around you. Help them until you're not able to. Help those who need help.

Start thinking about the people who deserves to live like we deserve to. Think thoroughly and deeply, people. Because in their heart, they need you.

I'll update more about the current world economy,

xx

Coolest swimming pool ever, eh, not really -_-"

Okay, so this is the pictures of the swimming pool I promised to put in here. So yeah, and I had fun taking these pictures. This pool is awesome btw. Like yeah, it is. But sadly, I have to go home when the time comes :(

more pictures later,

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How my apartment in Jakarta looks like,

This is pretty much all of it I guess. Unless if you want a detailed picture, get it yourself, god sake. I admit that I love this apartment more than my own house. Maybe I'll let my dad to stay here permanently or something. So we could go to school here and settle down with our lives. This apartment is uber cool. Maybe I'll take pictures of the swimming pool tomorrow!

I'll keep updating!

xx

Actually,

It is very weird every minute I breathe in Jakarta here. I think I'm going outside tomorrow, to see the sun perhaps, I've been staying in the hotel for the whole day of today. I miss Stefan, so badly :( I wish I could tell you that, baby. I can't call you because I don't know how, I'm not stupid but I am just not bothered to.

The weather here is hot and sunny and the people are very nice and pleasant looking. I don't want to go back home to Malaysia. I want to stay here for the rest of my life. The people here is much more friendlier. Stefan didn't go on yet :( Maybe he even hasn't woke up yet. Garh.

I only missed him and my friends of course. But I wish I could meet Asti, my Indonesian friend here, I guess why not. Uh-I am actually bored and have nothing to say. My dad is out again with her girlfriend.

More updates later,

xx

Love me for me

Everyone deserves love and compassion. Love is complex and it could be expressed by countless of words. I have mine and he means everything. He is not just my lover, he's my everything. He's love. I don't know if he loves me entirely but I love him a lot, more than he, himself , expected.

He is all I think of. I am sure he'll be there for me. If only I could tell him how I feel, I am sure he'll be taken aback than ever. I believe him and I am sure I can always be there, just for him.

Eventhough we only knew each other for a month know, I want him to know I am all his. I miss him so much since I am in Jakarta :(

I'll type more,

xx

Jakarta updates! II

This part is the entire part, the first update was a quick brief.

Anyway, after the plane landed, I was very happy because I can take pictures again. I was going to capture everything, every moment. Then, papa wants to break his fast. For your information, Jakarta is one hour earlier than us. He headed to this weird restaurant which was placed outside the airport and I ate friend rice which turned out to be really well-cooked and I was taken aback, lmao.

When we were waiting for our order, papa was smoking. His smoking puff was all over my face. I scolded him. Then, he said those despicable words. Here's the coversation;

papa; I have someone to take care of you guys. Like a nanny.

sophia; what?!

me; what?!

salma; huh?(she was still blurred out or some sort)

me; what do you mean, nanny?

[That time, my mind was talking to me, yes, it talks to me, I don't care if it scares you, papa never think we need someone to watch over our asses]

papa; like you know, someone to take care of you when I am working.

[yeah, we were here because my dad is having office business to take care of, for us, it's the first vacation in 14 months!]

me; where would she stay? I mean, the rooms are fully booked, I mean, in the apartment, where would she be sleeping and all that?

sophia; do you even know her?!

papa; I don't know her, she could take the small room or something, I don't know, we could negotiate something out, right guys?

sophia; but I want a room for me only and you don't even know her, how could we identify which is she, *she was making a face this time, lmao.

papa; she'll come here, she knows me, we'll talk about it later, I'm going to pray.

[then, he buzzes off]

THE CONVERSATION WASN'T ACTUALLY LIKE THIS, BUT THIS IS THE VITAL PART.

After he was out of our sight, we began to have our sister discussion(we have this things, lmao) and talked about it. Here's the conversation;

me; I am pretty sure it is Mairian(yes, that's her name and we know that).

sophia; I don't know, maybe.

me; he is acting all weird, he never thinks that we need someone to take care of us and he knows that, let's just see.

salma; can I go to the toilet?

me; uh-yeah?(as I look at her)

salma; can you go with me?

me; why me?!

salma; because I told you so?

THE CONVERSATION WASN'T ACTUALLLY LIKE THIS, LMAO.

So, I still went to the toilet with Salma. It turns out that I wanted to pee, too. After that, we rushed back to the restaurant and we saw Sophia sitting alone. She said, ''I saw her! Do you remember how she looks like?", I replied, "Yeah, I guess but maybe she changed her hair and everything",(I know how she looks like)

The moment I saw her, everything from what I've known came back rushing to my brain. I was suspicious of course. I am 60% sure she was dating my dad under the radar. I never met this woman, after we were at the airport, papa rent us a private taxi and before that, we met her. Papa was sensing nothing while I beckon to my sisters. My dad said her name is May, I don't give a rat's ass about her actual spelling of her name and this is obviously leads to her actual name, Mairian, let me tell you her full name, lol. It is so funny, like humor. It is Mairian Lastika Winda Yuni.

Funny, right? Gahaha. Papa asked us to shake her hands but she signed that she doesn't want to though. So, I just ignored. I didn't want her to anyway. So yeah, she was being extra nice to us, to my sister, I seem to have a problem with her.

In the taxi, I was sitting beside the driver's seat and my dad was sitting next to Mairian. OhMyGod, my dad is an old pervert. Anyhow, he was talking in Indonesian and he sounded like an amateur. How I hate his Indo accent. They were like, constantly whispering to each other and talked about their happy moments back in Malaysia.

As you can see, my dad travelled to Jakarta a hell lot for work and I am pretty sure Mairian was there beside him all along. In the taxi, my dad was like 'how old are you?' pffft, he thinks we're that stupid, huh? (that bitch has a son btw and my dad is paying for her) as she replied '15'. That's repulsive, god, she thinks we're gullible, too, huh?

When we reached there, we headed to the rooms and looked around the apartment, it is a beautiful apartment, I'll take the pics later. Then again, she was being nice. Before that, in the taxi, I was whining like, 'I can't text anyone with the M'sian number, buy me a number, pa!'

So, I was sitting in my room, which I am sharing with my sister, as I was enjoying the TV. She was like giving me this Indo sim card. Woo-hoo! A new number, she is nice, lmao. And she registered the sim card for me and all that.

So, anyway, she sensed that I didn't like her, damn right, I don't. After that, I went outside to the living room, texting my friend with my new Indo number and Mairian came to us and called our dad 'bi', yeah, his nickname was 'abi', I know that since I always stalk my dad's phone.

Anyway, more updates later! I can assure you, this is going to be the vacation I will never forget,

xx

Jakarta updates!

okay, I just reached Jakarta, ate fried rice at the airport, and my dad assigned a nanny to watch over our asses, which I think is his mistress, more updates later!

xx

Attention, Attention Seekers!

Funny title there, for me, though. I don't care if you don't think it is. Well, I don't, okay, for you attention seekers. I met sooooo many of this species of people. I know, they annoy the fuck out of me. It's okay when you're trying to seek attention by intelligence or a change of style, perhaps. But the desperate ones are both funny and pathetic.

The people I wanted to talk about is some random people, although they are very stupid and idiotic. Anyway, let me tell you why I think they are so desperate for attention, they clearly have NO friends to give attention to. There's one example I wanted to talk about, although names are not going to be spoken out loud to the Internet.

There's a girl, lets call her 'Bubba', haha. Bubba, hmm, so anyway, Bubba is a rich girl, wealthy, gets everything she wants and all that, Bubba's mum hates my bestfriend, I still blame Bubba's mum, so she attracts attention by giving huge amount of money to random people, like she's in my grade right, and she would give money to the people who hate her and she is not aware of that, of course.

So, I don't really get the point because I am surely sure that the person Bubba lend the money to will not pay her back, I am so, utterly sure. I don't really get her and I think she thinks that I like her. She tells me all about her problems and crap that I barely give a rat's ass about. I feel sorry for her, yes but I can't really help her because I loathe her.

I do, I am not fake, I'm just not ignorable. I mean, if I'm running from her, she would totally chase me. God, all those running for nothing. Okay, that's it about Bubba, she seeks attention through money.

Next attention seekerrrrr!

My classmate, hmm, let's call her uh-Spastic! Because she is in everyway. Anyway, okay, she is much more worst and fucking annoying. She is my friend of 7 years, and I don't think I would admit to the public that she is. I think you know who she is, don't you? Zip that bloody mouth! HAHA, lol. (This just made you smile, I know it)

Anyway, she is very unique, she dated a well-known gold digger of mine. Oh Adzfar, I fucking want to stab you. Shit, no names for display, oops, sorry I'm still going to state that guy's name. HAHA, I am loony. Okay, she is much more different from Bubba.

I like Bubba better and that doesn't mean I really like her, what I'm trying to say was, I much more prefer Bubba than Spastic. So, at first she dated the gold digger, which was stupid. That guy just wants sex. You don't need the history of me and him. Spactic knows well about it.

Hm, okay, back to the seeking attention part where I was planning on blog about it.

She would sometimes give money, too. But that's a whole different story. 2 years ago, she was okay, she has this good way of interacting with people. Because she was friends with me and my bestfriends. So, the next year, she dropped a grade and we were separated. This year, I dropped a grade and I'm in her class, sadly :(

I'm still mourning about it, yes, I make it sound like death.

So, she was acting a bit different and annoying as well, she would scream alot and I, deep inside wanted to kill her, right there and then. She is fucking annoying and bitchy, Spastic deserves a slap doesn't she. She doesn't have any friends, real friends that really like her and love her. I don't, don't think I do!

She had this friend, a year older, used to be her god-sister and she dated Spastic's crush. Awwwwwh, good one! I don't fucking care actually. I pity Spastic, a lot baby! HAHA, you shouldn't date that gold digger baby, because before you did, I told you about him and everything, but you just don't listen to people, don't you?

You'll die alone and cry at the end anyway(I told you so! HAHA), anyway, GOOD LUCK with that! I don't really love you, for that matter.

xx

Shit! I still haven't..

pack my bags for Jakarta yet, the flight is on the evening, 4 pm I guess. Well, uh-something like that. I am friggin' looking forward to this vacation. Although I have to bring some books with me since I am having PMR the next week after.

I am going to bring my reference books and my stationery and fucks. Uhh-I crap so much, aren't I? I believe somehow, cursing and swearing are expressive. Uh-okay? That was really random, popped out of the head instant beliefs of mine, lmao.

Anyway, this is not entirely about my vacation to Jakarta and my gay moments, lol. I seriously don't have anything to talk about right now, I am out of ideas. Oh yeah, let's talk about life, my life, that would be, uh-whatever.

Sooo, shit, I still have no idea. but oh, I can promote someone that had inspired me through all his videos.

Go to YouTube and type in 'Mitchell Davis' in the search box and smartly, click the search link button. Then, there's going to be this thousands of videos, random videos which are not entirely the real guy, so go to the 'LiveLaveLive' channel, it will appear there, the link I mean, click on it and you can see it. So, just check his video out, he's such a randomer. The above picture is him, he's a photographer, too. The pictures behind him are polaroids, pretty ones, too.

I think I'm in love, lol.

xx

I've done drugs...

and I am clearly sure it is 100% against my sacred religion although, I don't know if I must repent but I am not addicted. I've smoked weed a couple of times. I choked on the first one, ahh-memories. I don't really like it but I can see why people are addicted. I felt stupid, of course, for damaging my body. Drugs could lead me everywhere on earth but I'm pretty sure I do not want to go to that places.

When I first experiment it, I was at my boyfriend's house, Stefan. No, he is not the reason why I did drugs, I just wanted some tormented experience. At that time, I just wanted to have some fun and my dad knew about this. He doesn't know what's with my life anymore, he clearly, utterly, doesn't get me at all.

When I smoked pot, I choked like I typed in before. I gave it a second shot, I was really high. I was just interested in drugs, but I am NOT addicted, but it did taste great and I don't think I am going to do it again.

My boyfriend did not like it when I asked for more. So I'm like, "You can do it, why can't I?" He had to listen to me anyway, oh, I get it, that's why he doesn't want to tell me about his private life, I guess, he's sulking, poor my baby boy :( I'm going to tell him later and coax him or something.

So anyway, that is it, if you're from school, don't widen your mouth and be shocked and look down at me. I tried a couple of times doesn't make me a bad person and I changed, utterly no, and I mean it, seriously.

xx

p/s; not everything I write here is true, lmao.

What you people don't know,

people seem to judge me but they clearly do not know me at all. My life is not all about fucked-up shits like that. I am tired of it because I am not going to waste my precious life for people who won't fucking appreciate me. I am sick of being nice to people who would not be nice with me or take me for fucking granted.

In this country, I have not seen everything yet. Although I do not think I have to either. Life is challenging I guess but I don't think, at first, people are the main problems of one's life.

I'll complete this later,

xx

If only people knew,

I live in a life where nothing makes sense. I just don't get the people around me. The closest, my dad. A couple of days ago, he threatened to leave my sisters and I, just like my mum did a couple of months ago. Don't you judge that I am devastated about it, I really don't. I prefer her absence around the house.

Anyway, along side him, my boyfriend, Stefan. Yeah, I broke up with Alex. About Stefan, he would not tell me about his private life, although I told him mine and it is clear that I want him to know that I care for him, that's why I asked him, but he insist on not telling me. It could not be that bad, but if it was, what's wrong by telling me that and spill the fucking beans?

I just do not get everything right now, my mind is getting hijacked by those crappy random stuff that happen in my life and kept inserting to my brains and unfortunately I can't dissolve.

Life kept on going and I am heading Jakarta, Indonesia tomorrow which I am really looking forward to. So I will be telling you guys about that later.

xx

Vegetarians

okay, someone has sent me a message through MySpace, about my vegetarian video. it almost sounded like the person was offended but she said she wasn't, but if she was not, why did she sent it, am i right? so anyway, im making this clear, she asked me to apologize, or was it something like it, but anyway, this is not an apologizing blog but im clearing to those who were offended and i really am sick about the whole people being offended crap.

obviously, in that video, i stated that the video was for e! entertainment channel. because i was so pissed, i guess im jotting this clear. they said that people should more prefer being vegetarians and so on. right now, i dont want to talk about it, only to clear things up to the people who take me seriously.

god, only if i could really tell you this, but i dont think i would be able to. but i am TRYTING to say that I wasnt trying to offend anyone fer that matter.

xx

I always loved..

being random! i mean, its like my middle name because if you know me, i am absurdly random because i kept thinking of stuff that i shouldnt be thinking. like, when im in class, learning about some subject, my head would be wandering off some place much better. like what would i do when i got home or something like that.

tomorrow's raya and i am up at 1 in the morning, bored. i actually cant sleep and thats why im posting this bs. i am utterly bored to death and sometimes i think blogging is mundane and uninteresting.

so anyway, im heading jakarta this monday and im all psyched! this is my first overseas vacasion in a year and some months. and im totally going to hit you guys with some pictures. although that is not a promise.

xx

Snails are hermaphrodites.

That was what I processed from making Science revisions after dinner. Funny though. Anyway, it has been ages since Ive been on this website since ive found out that blogging sucks and btw, im getting an iphone soon! wowieeee. thats just it, its 2 am and im bored to death.
xx