Shit! I still haven't..

pack my bags for Jakarta yet, the flight is on the evening, 4 pm I guess. Well, uh-something like that. I am friggin' looking forward to this vacation. Although I have to bring some books with me since I am having PMR the next week after.

I am going to bring my reference books and my stationery and fucks. Uhh-I crap so much, aren't I? I believe somehow, cursing and swearing are expressive. Uh-okay? That was really random, popped out of the head instant beliefs of mine, lmao.

Anyway, this is not entirely about my vacation to Jakarta and my gay moments, lol. I seriously don't have anything to talk about right now, I am out of ideas. Oh yeah, let's talk about life, my life, that would be, uh-whatever.

Sooo, shit, I still have no idea. but oh, I can promote someone that had inspired me through all his videos.

Go to YouTube and type in 'Mitchell Davis' in the search box and smartly, click the search link button. Then, there's going to be this thousands of videos, random videos which are not entirely the real guy, so go to the 'LiveLaveLive' channel, it will appear there, the link I mean, click on it and you can see it. So, just check his video out, he's such a randomer. The above picture is him, he's a photographer, too. The pictures behind him are polaroids, pretty ones, too.

I think I'm in love, lol.

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I've done drugs...

and I am clearly sure it is 100% against my sacred religion although, I don't know if I must repent but I am not addicted. I've smoked weed a couple of times. I choked on the first one, ahh-memories. I don't really like it but I can see why people are addicted. I felt stupid, of course, for damaging my body. Drugs could lead me everywhere on earth but I'm pretty sure I do not want to go to that places.

When I first experiment it, I was at my boyfriend's house, Stefan. No, he is not the reason why I did drugs, I just wanted some tormented experience. At that time, I just wanted to have some fun and my dad knew about this. He doesn't know what's with my life anymore, he clearly, utterly, doesn't get me at all.

When I smoked pot, I choked like I typed in before. I gave it a second shot, I was really high. I was just interested in drugs, but I am NOT addicted, but it did taste great and I don't think I am going to do it again.

My boyfriend did not like it when I asked for more. So I'm like, "You can do it, why can't I?" He had to listen to me anyway, oh, I get it, that's why he doesn't want to tell me about his private life, I guess, he's sulking, poor my baby boy :( I'm going to tell him later and coax him or something.

So anyway, that is it, if you're from school, don't widen your mouth and be shocked and look down at me. I tried a couple of times doesn't make me a bad person and I changed, utterly no, and I mean it, seriously.

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p/s; not everything I write here is true, lmao.

What you people don't know,

people seem to judge me but they clearly do not know me at all. My life is not all about fucked-up shits like that. I am tired of it because I am not going to waste my precious life for people who won't fucking appreciate me. I am sick of being nice to people who would not be nice with me or take me for fucking granted.

In this country, I have not seen everything yet. Although I do not think I have to either. Life is challenging I guess but I don't think, at first, people are the main problems of one's life.

I'll complete this later,

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If only people knew,

I live in a life where nothing makes sense. I just don't get the people around me. The closest, my dad. A couple of days ago, he threatened to leave my sisters and I, just like my mum did a couple of months ago. Don't you judge that I am devastated about it, I really don't. I prefer her absence around the house.

Anyway, along side him, my boyfriend, Stefan. Yeah, I broke up with Alex. About Stefan, he would not tell me about his private life, although I told him mine and it is clear that I want him to know that I care for him, that's why I asked him, but he insist on not telling me. It could not be that bad, but if it was, what's wrong by telling me that and spill the fucking beans?

I just do not get everything right now, my mind is getting hijacked by those crappy random stuff that happen in my life and kept inserting to my brains and unfortunately I can't dissolve.

Life kept on going and I am heading Jakarta, Indonesia tomorrow which I am really looking forward to. So I will be telling you guys about that later.

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Vegetarians

okay, someone has sent me a message through MySpace, about my vegetarian video. it almost sounded like the person was offended but she said she wasn't, but if she was not, why did she sent it, am i right? so anyway, im making this clear, she asked me to apologize, or was it something like it, but anyway, this is not an apologizing blog but im clearing to those who were offended and i really am sick about the whole people being offended crap.

obviously, in that video, i stated that the video was for e! entertainment channel. because i was so pissed, i guess im jotting this clear. they said that people should more prefer being vegetarians and so on. right now, i dont want to talk about it, only to clear things up to the people who take me seriously.

god, only if i could really tell you this, but i dont think i would be able to. but i am TRYTING to say that I wasnt trying to offend anyone fer that matter.

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I always loved..

being random! i mean, its like my middle name because if you know me, i am absurdly random because i kept thinking of stuff that i shouldnt be thinking. like, when im in class, learning about some subject, my head would be wandering off some place much better. like what would i do when i got home or something like that.

tomorrow's raya and i am up at 1 in the morning, bored. i actually cant sleep and thats why im posting this bs. i am utterly bored to death and sometimes i think blogging is mundane and uninteresting.

so anyway, im heading jakarta this monday and im all psyched! this is my first overseas vacasion in a year and some months. and im totally going to hit you guys with some pictures. although that is not a promise.

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Snails are hermaphrodites.

That was what I processed from making Science revisions after dinner. Funny though. Anyway, it has been ages since Ive been on this website since ive found out that blogging sucks and btw, im getting an iphone soon! wowieeee. thats just it, its 2 am and im bored to death.
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